Friday 12 December 2014

Christmas crackers 2014

holly top right
holly top left


Christmas
crackers
2014




hi Q


in the name of all get out
look down on this work
& call a bad job well done


bells & holly


beware the boatman trailer


should you believe stuff like
supernatural superhumans
live the afterlife of goodies
& hell for evil doers or
that runaway girls are bed'n'boarded
by cuddly bears in deep forests

you won't need reminding the shift
from life to death's a homeward journey
strange as fact
a silvery groat
that sticks in the black
river mud of your throat

or should you believe in stuffing
like a full English breakfast
followed by naked
lunch sur l'herbe
then Xmas dinner at Woolworth's cafeteria with
paper crowns glass of plonk & all the trimmings

you will hardly need reminding
that to leave Santa a cute note
2 mince pies &
glass of milk
scores you a caped action crusader
with eyes that glow red in the dark


bells & holly


al Q


shirtlifters caught with i-dolls
will be shaken down
blindfold & cut to the quick


bells & holly


back to the furniture


while a wicca van
white as the driven man

crosses a hill
for the annual kill

dark clouds hasten
ravens home to their haven


bells & holly


buy Q


jingo balls buy jingo balls
at all the best malls
buy jingo balls jingo balls


bells & holly


not great expectations again


the burnished bronze
of their doorknobs
turned me jealous

a little voice said
unscrew & steal
them as scrap

another recommended
I wedded their big
brass daughter


bells & holly


middle Q


all who've read Hilton Coalfield's
Gotcha In The Wry
will know what this means by now


bells & holly


omniphobia


stuck on this planet
not a hitch in sight
not a stitch in the whole warp & weft of time
oh ho ho my perfect Ford
how on earth will I chill
out the next 2 millennia


bells & holly


lo Q


frozen monkeys not from here
type facetiously
random stabs at Shakespeare's Lear


bells & holly


safety in numbers


nobody's gonna top six mill
not this side of Armageddon

Stalin did come pretty close they say
above a gross snuffed out on his watch
but starvation & neglect don't egg the custard
like bullets in heads & nudes in gas chambers

no Adolf's on safe ground with his ½ doz
apart from a few discreditable deniers
casting aspersions on the history world

even those old spiders of Mars
won't count if they bloody show up
close encounters with death rays
only Google into acts of god


bells & holly


non Q


so come all ye faithful
the time to hesitate is through
the back door and down the fire escape
holly bottom leftholly bottom right
sock puppeteer with holly
Let us bray!

Monday 1 December 2014

Ali Baba's Pop Art Mart


advertisement
found work on canvas
(Internet.)


#1 - Trad BritArt

Constable
Incs. free del..


Turner
Not to be consumed ashore.

Stubbs
Disc. for Equestrian Order mmbrs.


#2 - Mod BritArt

Hockney
Comes w/out Health Warning.

Bacon
Call for Smoked Option.

Emin
Sold Out.


#3 - Non BritArt

El Greco
Alc % by vol may vary.

Munch
Try with Snickers or Flake.

Warhol
Dissidents may contain pork.


Sock Puppeteer
Never Sold