Friday, 12 December 2014

Christmas crackers 2014

holly top right
holly top left


hi Q

in the name of all get out
look down on this work
& call a bad job well done

bells & holly

beware the boatman trailer

should you believe stuff like
supernatural superhumans
live the afterlife of goodies
& hell for evil doers or
that runaway girls are bed'n'boarded
by cuddly bears in deep forests

you won't need reminding the shift
from life to death's a homeward journey
strange as fact
a silvery groat
that sticks in the black
river mud of your throat

or should you believe in stuffing
like a full English breakfast
followed by naked
lunch sur l'herbe
then Xmas dinner at Woolworth's cafeteria with
paper crowns glass of plonk & all the trimmings

you will hardly need reminding
that to leave Santa a cute note
2 mince pies &
glass of milk
scores you a caped action crusader
with eyes that glow red in the dark

bells & holly

al Q

shirtlifters caught with i-dolls
will be shaken down
blindfold & cut to the quick

bells & holly

back to the furniture

while a wicca van
white as the driven man

crosses a hill
for the annual kill

dark clouds hasten
ravens home to their haven

bells & holly

buy Q

jingo balls buy jingo balls
at all the best malls
buy jingo balls jingo balls

bells & holly

not great expectations again

the burnished bronze
of their doorknobs
turned me jealous

a little voice said
unscrew & steal
them as scrap

another recommended
I wedded their big
brass daughter

bells & holly

middle Q

all who've read Hilton Coalfield's
Gotcha In The Wry
will know what this means by now

bells & holly


stuck on this planet
not a hitch in sight
not a stitch in the whole warp & weft of time
oh ho ho my perfect Ford
how on earth will I chill
out the next 2 millennia

bells & holly

lo Q

frozen monkeys not from here
type facetiously
random stabs at Shakespeare's Lear

bells & holly

safety in numbers

nobody's gonna top six mill
not this side of Armageddon

Stalin did come pretty close they say
above a gross snuffed out on his watch
but starvation & neglect don't egg the custard
like bullets in heads & nudes in gas chambers

no Adolf's on safe ground with his ½ doz
apart from a few discreditable deniers
casting aspersions on the history world

even those old spiders of Mars
won't count if they bloody show up
close encounters with death rays
only Google into acts of god

bells & holly

non Q

so come all ye faithful
the time to hesitate is through
the back door and down the fire escape
holly bottom leftholly bottom right
sock puppeteer with holly
Let us bray!


  1. I got some of your illusions, but I am not sure what some others were alluding to, but I am sure if you leave a mince pie and a glass of Sherry for Father Christmas, he might leave you a tangerine and a torch in your sock. And as Tiny Tim said in A Christmas Carol: "God bless us, everyone." Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year from Philip and all in Liverpool.

    1. Ta very much for reading and commenting. I'm glad to hear Santa will get a welcome in the Pool. Seasons greetings to you from us in Bursa.


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