Saturday 1 June 2019

bunch of lefties


boycott vote

whoa Gibraltar tie that kanga down
little Spains are taking tinsel town
marriage of public convenience
Brexit my arse

Nigel was willing true to his name
foraging for scraps of votes he led
motley creatures by the nose to dance
Brexit my arse

try it out on YouRope no disgrace
dangling on the line enjoy a farce
stick it out till you’re blue in the face
Bexit my arse

Aunty France and Uncle Brit's divorce
still ain’t thru tho bickering enough
every time they mount the town hall steps
Brexit my arse

pull the other see if it's got bells
on then fetch the shotgun be no worse
civil partnership or fake romance
Brexit my arse



the odds

thinking to myself so what who cares
I was right said Chris & now he's gone
time to end the age old argument
me against them

Mum is gaga Dad’s a memory
raise the curtain face the music or
kettledrums rolling in the background
one against Thebes

got a family of my own to keep
tabs on history repeating itself
two more boys to fight and argue with
odds against ten

take no prisoners let the stragglers go
they'll come running homewards soon enough
dawn is breaking time to rise & shine
clock’s against me

no I'll take another hour of shut
eye no need to put the kettle on
rolling over in the creeping light
one against one



intertexing reprised

pied pastiche my media of choice
never that original I make
proximations like a lonely old
budgerigar

now pastisse has mucho aniseed
favours singing under many names
raki ouzo absinthe anisette
Baudelaire supped

twice his share while I prefer red wine
Archilochus played the drunken oaf
also Alcheus was quite an alc
originals

even they relied on one before
who invented rhyme & metre like
Sappho strumming with her plectrum no
token woman

though the muses suffer many fools
imitation floats the ship of verse
downright copying's against the rules
language comes first



worth his sack

couldn’t find a woman or a black
male of any age the Mafia
settled on this Ilkley chap who at
least gets it down

does a line in humour is correct
calls himself a poet passed his test
visits schools occasionally on
radio 4

pardon my question it's answer time
what’s his name is not important just
solid working class an axe who's
good chopping words

one more thing if any others dare
cast aspersions on this worthy bloke
send an SAE to Auntie Bee's
Twitter address

fact sheets are available an app
will be ready soon also a mask
goes on sale next Wednesday wear it out
ten years'll do



7½ O levels

having passed the English Language test
Lit I almost failed still not ashamed
Geog & Chemistry at CSE
some of my best

for the rest I should admit a rag
bag assortment hardly worth the time
teachers spent or cash-strapped Liverpool
City counselled

what I learned in truth I often use
here in life like French & Spanish Maths
simultaneous equations apart
History grade one

gotta get a boast in somewhere no
pride did not precede my fall I tripped
unassisted thank you from the great
height of these depths

anarchy being both means & mode
private schooling helped my stable mates
I set out to change the world so don't
judge me on grades
rude & pointed



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