Wednesday 3 July 2019

1919 & all that jazz





inverse eyes @2020 look
back thru tainted goggles Frenchies Brits
Yanks & sundry lesser outfits caught
Germany off

guard the wicket stuck on Old Regime
petty fours to shouts of six we bowled
turtle soup from mobster plot tureens
Nero cuisine

put Trimalchio's repast to shame
nymphos served injust desserts on tec
tonic plates of messe de pottage camp
fires burned unchecked

burps & hiccoughs slurps of brandy smoke
Louis quinze looked down in effigy
aprés moi you deli cats he urged
who is dese folks

fête accomplis paid on credit so
what the cost or if decorum lost
ten not out to help your bloody selves
in for a dig

*

Mr Churchill button-holed our host
puis-je demand au vernaculaire
de cette table oh fermez les Bosch
cried Clemenceau

Wilson not to be dishonoured pulled
out his gun & popped a serving man
just for fun now never say we Yanks
don't know our tropes

Lennon whose invitation got smudged
in the post was there by telegram
Molotov with cocktail poised said stop
me & buy one

spliced of course with Chaplin Charles but worse
was to come beyond the trampled gates
Germany impersonated by
Korporal Von Klot

wagon wheels exploding bells & hell's
balls a-swinging from his lugs remained
shaking at the knees forgive his French
encore mein twat

*

by the morning of the night before
no one knew quite who had said just what
wrapped in table cloths we bagged our loot
swaggering off

some had homes to go to others not
those with silver candlesticks & plates
made for bishoprics & sovereign states
pleased with their lot

several gathered victuals reasoning
hungry jaws would snicker as they snuck
by so cake to trade as bread was wise
knowing Versailles

knives & forks embroidered serviettes
ringed with gilt were favoured by the few
who professed a souvenir would do
journeys that long

lastly ready-handed spilled the lost
generation hordes whose wits were shot
grateful for our lives we hit the streets
pairs of left feet

***

still the bunfight raged on soldiers' pay
tilting stragglers reached their promised lands
singing by the boat load train or push
cart in the rain

officers & men with kitbags new
packing hairlock pistols bayonets
pomegranates gramophones & old
Exchange & Marts

even those who’d never stepped abroad
claimed rewards in borrowed uniforms
boasting like heroes that zeros had
stuck to their guns

speeches we endured in county town
halls profane the words of praise to face
no man's land had been a better place
peaceful at times

when the gin kicked in it made one think
soldiering did have its qualities
knew your enemies but civvies were
good for a drink

*

Scott Fitzgerald wrote his novel then
Proust coughed up the biscuit of research
Switzerland had held a nest of such
confidence men

bankrupts all their credit sunk in art
speculation dada tigers who
cheerio’d down chiaroscuro streets
curtsied like fools

time to face the bloody music act
brave & play concertos with both hands
tied behind the back abandon truth
chapter & verse

show they hadn’t sung in castle vaults
silently from rooftops playing rag
requiems for chums who'd drowned in mud
innocence hung

out to dry in Voltaire cafés where
prohibition played straight into gang
land scenarios took some resolve
totalled on tea

*

hic twas claimed that war kicked off in smoke
rooms or homebrew joints for every gun
toting patriot the God squad read
Satan on hooch

did great wonders for the smugglers' trade
surely not don’t take my word we Yanks
banned it very morning after world
peace was declared

that’s absurd you said it Brother like
blaming rape on women who dress up
war was down to men who'd had too much
Dutch here’s the catch

logic doesn’t mix with politics
in democracy the lowest twits
pitch their wits beneath the belt then watch
God do the rest

pull the other Sister thought of that
bloodshed does attract a deal of bull
title fights aren't won by halves it's drink
up or shut up

***

Uncle Brit & Auntie France why not
set our friends a great example give
back those empires show the world that peace
means business eh

what a neat idea take that down
here this pack of cigarettes is smoked
tell it at the Rose & Crown tonight
wonderful hoax

true in Blighty things ain't smelling rose
half these chaps have lost their jobs to fops
what will all the soldiers do we'll send
them out as cops

free the states it's got a ring to it
be elections soon Communism's
on the rise how about dominion
status for them

seriously Nuncle haven't they
earned the right to independence let
those who've fought for freedom off a bit
rule their own waves

*

talk like that is fit for Bolsheviks
ten to one we'll meet at Waterloo
everyone is waiting on a pax
Britannica

with our European pals in crime
all the civilising countries know
just to give their colonies away
Dude isn’t due

off their bottle that's Amerikar
to a model T let’s see them quit
money first then litigation sex
for heaven's sake

slavery which took us long enough
white man's burden in a six-inch shell
he who fails to down his stirrup cup
see him in hell

mark my words if prohibition reigns
seven years they’ll drink then seven more
judging vices comes before a fall
Congress's call

*

jaw-jaw with a Mallampati score
high enough to end this war of wars
heard that somewhere before I suppose
me too here goes

everyone's invited to a bash
weekly on the promenade at lake
Wozzname grab a gal we'll have a blast
drinks on the house

talking shops are de rigeur these days
peace diplomacy & all that jive
best behaviour on the dance floor no
stepping on toes

cutting in will be allowed of course
modern dress & when the music stops
cabaret with all the latest acts
shenanigans

best of all it's international rules
what goes down in Switzerland will stay
there who’s not to love the best of both
worlds old & new

***

Gatsby where’s your country going hold
on Old Sport Chicago fix the World
Series for me will ya atta boy
Wolfie's a dream

you were saying never mind the girl's
got a hubby tail her to the far
side of paradise we'll rendezvous
there in the car

here we go again now try to keep
up you know he seldom drinks that's odd
figured him for a bootlegging hound
plays cricket though

there’s some truth in what you said before
damned if I remember let’s go home
party's over bar the shooting one
more for the road

right you are a cigarette my house
for a smoke this Russian whitey meets
Frenchie with a Limey on the road
to Monty Carl

*

O Daisy darl life's a car crash for
two no sorry you were great in bed
plus your money's oke but that’s not rich
gotta be orf

who'd’ve thought I’d utter life’s a bitch
can’t we go to Europe start afresh
sell this pile exchange East River for
Riviera

live it up on two per cent of nix
you're forgetting something Major Gatz
destiny awaits us where we are
get out the car

you believe that stuff of course I do
liar but the French & Brits are thru
Germany will have its turn of peace
war & then us

girlfriend we could make it anywhere
what if I don’t want to tell you what
grab Manhattan first then take New York
state's on a plate

*

didn't Mrs Cody make it plain
can’t have happy endings all the time
principal has gotta take a fall
stroke of thirteen

made an art form outta hit & run
living fast & dying young the crime
ain't no loss of life it's breaking faith
rules of the game

rather stick around for best of both
such romantic notions sup your drink
poisoned chalice two to tango whoa
king for a day

sorry love the sun is setting I'll
miss the next I know it's asinine
hold my hand I'm dying like an oaf
partner in rhyme

kiss me darling blow that smoking gun
what an innings burst the palliasse
Siegfried's got a dame but lost his ring
fat lady sing


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