Saturday 4 July 2020

from the chapbook: unromantic ballads

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08BDSDJM4


keep it safe


if a law against

dresses slit this high were passed

could I be more hip


sitting at a bar

slurping scoops of fizzy pink

minding my own biz


when some cat comes by

businessman in natty togs

smiling what a cheek


can he take a pew

no one’s got their name on them

welcome stranger up


yours we pass the time

talking fast & drinking slow

nothing to remark


cept the old malaise

newbie wears a fuzzy face

loose about the jowls


says he’s parked his car

on a brew outside the joint

which is funny cos


nearest slope of note

would be Brownlow Hill about

half a mile inland


then he draws a small

packet from his jacket sleeve

slipping it my way


you take that from me

Honey been so fancy free

I’ll be getting off


indiscrete I lied

should’ve asked to be excused

stead of thanking him


proper cards are few

these days specially when the bars

turn away their trade


see you when I do

giving out his parting shot

so he disappears


***


as the afternoon

segues into eventide

still the night is young


we have sat & talked

through a horror film the bar

staff taken their breaks


happy hour has dragged

on the punters been & gone

midnight bells have rung


stay-behind begun

when a half familiar face

pops around the door


deja-vu or what

could it be some divorcee’s

twin brother-in-law


takes a pew & winks

I have almost upped & left

three times for a smoke


but obnoxious herbs

have a tendency to stink

even when they’re chewed


either that or food

but another gin my friend

then I shall be gone


***


conversation please

nothing heavy crass or crude

parse the port ol’ chum


never was at sea

myself cabin crew nor cruise

must be someone else


he’s calling me out

such a blooming cheek you bad

lad take that & that


gets me by the choke

whispering I’ll have your arse

cursing like a tar


what you got in there

turning out my snapper purse

finds the packet worse


sees I’ve barely ten

bob to go no taxi fare

left to strut on heels


all the way up Bold

Street & past the bombed out church

Leece Hardman curse


worst luck the Cass is

heaving youngsters having fun

keep straight on


Catherine Street & Ma

Ling’s oh giz some chips my love

put it on the tab


feet are killing me

home at last without the stash

filthy coppers ask


anyone round here

who is on the game but them

gotta have a snore


no pay with Prime!


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