Tuesday 1 February 2022

dad's barmy


all the trimmings

 

hanging off the balance wide

bodied acts a certain age

state their resolutions while

happy new years

ring across the globe it's cheers

bottoms up with drinks all round

Christmas leftovers & wine

heated with cloves

some recycled presents fall

off a tree but shucks the thought

counts not credit ratings how

stuffed can you get

such acrylic hats & socks

table football USB

organiser databank

tickets for live

sex at home plus bogus snuff

movies gobs of candle wax

snowman's frozen ear muffs

panic attacks

 

*

 

cost of living Dude

 

gas & electricity

cable phones The Internet

water rates plus council tax

maintenance bills

 

rice with vegetables & nuts

fruit pots of milk butter cheese

yoghurt bread some chocolate oats

litre of plonk

 

car insurance test & road

tax before you fill the tank

wiper blades repairs new treads

finance & fines

 

glucosamine collagen

multivit’n’minerals

walnut oil biloba leaf

wing & a prayer

 

not to mention family clothes

college travel bed & board

holidays & birthday gifts

shall I go on

 

*

 

wrong moon Blue

 

what a waste of time

rocket fuel & dreams aside

setting worlds apart

 

salvage hauliers

bent on totting what we find

really it’s a crime

 

though the comet's fine

lovely specimen of deep

interstellar ice

 

probably retains

isotopes from primal stars

gone but not reborn

 

still the basic trip

was it worth that lonesome blip

of intelligence

 

*

 

noël coward

 

Christmas past ennui

Airfix kits unfinished faint

whiffs of scotch & cramp

twisted promises

no but cold & damp despite

both electric bars

BC natural gas

’sixty-five or six I guess

by the furniture

melancholy’s first

outing has me shuddering

try & turn it off

having failed to see

through the stillness into wow

this is how it goes

 

*

 

broken tooth fairy

 

stop this bleeding world

fetch the tourniquet before

Shitface hits a fan

 

pardon me it's French

Dumbo comprehend the term

Anglais savez-vous

 

anyroad what’s said

won’t be taken down no score

draws included see

 

off the coupon Blue

read the bearer what they’re owed

straight between the lines

 

it's a joke don’t laugh

picking funny bones with death

duty Royals oof

 

*

 

mirage-à-trois heures

 

gently laughing waves

break along the giddy shore

Party Tricks-on-Sea

 

what no leeks at home

send a politician out

fifteen bob in change

 

has inflation come

back again or is it my

mathematics phew

 

thought I’d lost it then

sixty-five’s a funny age

better get some checks

 

saw a Zodiac

full of snowman saboteurs

landing on the beach

 

*

 

Dad’s Barmy

 

paper tiger wrestling blacked

out without the radio

on or slow to sleep while cold

drunk to my toes

 

you’ve mistaken me before

ghost of Christmas-never-was

full of western promises

broken of course

 

as the ageing mouse that roared

World War Three & right to cry

wolf although I’ve lived a life

mainly in peace

 

somewhat English love to show

off my feelings once a year

own a pet gorilla suit

worn underneath

 

won’t be pigeon-holed for long

homing instincts working class

inverted aristocrat

nailed to the mast

wot, no colour?

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