BAH!


star warts victim


whether they be genital or just
plain upstaged by beauty’s spot denial
got to take their homilies on trust
walk thru the smile

sex is hot on Sundays in between
chats with politicians hurricane
spats in Spain & other hats on screen
sipping champagne

Shaxberd put it rather well forget
how just now hold on an arse an arse
swap my kingdom forrit smarmy get
Kevin would parse

so it's hang yr prancing plimsolls up
make a play at summat else for inst
close a school of drama put a stop
to getting pissed

loved it when you dealt with shit on flix
boy just call the writers in they say
'ouse of cads was past its fix no tricks
must be a way


Archie Locost



Letters to the Jed


Sir,

A Damn Good War

Let's be honest with the lads & lasses, all this Brexit nonsense would be set aside if the YUKE and the EEK had a decent bloody war on their hands. Give them seven-to-ten to sort out some common agreed foe – those dirty dog-eaters would do nicely – then all our bygones would begone. We could patch the whole thing up with a single act of cuddle. Ignore the garlic, what are we waiting for? Strap the old helm on and let's get back to civilisation as we know and love it.

Archie Locost



Tributes To Poets Living & Dead

I

Tear down bone apart.

by Bilko Sergeant


Only gonna say this once, Stee
Was onto such a good thing
Lately. The sad wallpaper is green.

So around ten the cops showed,
that Irish Bum/Merryweather fight. Toxic
Believe me, I should of knew. Tore

Off like a strip, then split. What
Sicked most, though, was all them
Third Reich leds dancing on Ikea.

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